I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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