96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
