he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
