The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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