Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize