He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
