Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
