do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
