I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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