Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
