I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
