I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My balls are so social today.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
