Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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