Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
