I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
