WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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