I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
