Girls should come with a carfax report
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
