420 ftw
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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