Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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