it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize