I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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