It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
