You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
