Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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