I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
