the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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