I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
