i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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