He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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