one might say we're banned from that church
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
