how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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