I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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