I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
