Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
