dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
