also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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