..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
