I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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