dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
