Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize