we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His nipple licking is glorious
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