I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
