So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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