when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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