...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
