dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize