is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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