he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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