pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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