yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
