dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
