normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
