i jhust puked up my retainher.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
