how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
