So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
