Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I believe in your delicious
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize