thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So vagazzling was a success
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
