i just google imaged poop.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
