I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
