I just pynch a tree in the face
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
