did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
