hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
