you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
