my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
