Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize